Clerks + 2 = Crap

Clerks 2 has to be about the worst film I've seen in a long time.  I'm trying to remember a film I enjoyed less recently.  That bizarre Nicole Kidman film "Birth" wasn't enjoyable, but Clerks 2 punted it off the spot on the list.  In fact, I would have gotten more enjoyment out of converting my $11.00 movie ticket price into nothing but pennies, and flushing them, individually, down the toilet.  Maybe by the time Clerks 3 comes out, I'll remember this idea and use it. Granted, I enjoyed the first Clerks film when it came out.  It was low-budget, funny, and pushed the envelope of indie films.  However, this one is just a poorly acted (Brian O'Halloran is really just...not an actor) inside joke strokefest for Smith and friends.  I knew it was going to be a bad ride when 15 minutes in I started thinking about the ice they give you in movie theater drinks, and wondering why it isn't pellet ice.  Ice cubes are loud and crunchy when you chew them, but pellet ice is much quieter, easier to chew, and soaks up your drink better.  See what I mean?  Plus, the person next to me kept flipping open his Blackberry to check emails, IMs, the price of his stocks, and who knows what else. Even more telling of this sad state of affairs is that, in one of the biggest cases of cyberpimpdom I've seen, if you were one of the first three billion people to add "Clerks 2" as a friend on Myspace, you got your name in the credits.  We stayed to see if this is true.  And it is.  Wayyyyy far after the credits end, the names peel by in lightspeed.  What was the point of this? After the film, said fellow moviegoer turned to me and said, "Has Kevin Smith lost it?"  Sadly, the answer appears to be yes.  As Silent Bob says himself in this movie, "I got nothin'." At least he rails on Jersey Girl in the credits.

Comments

[MattG]

Dude. Your RSS feed is fux0red. This post has popped up on my LJ friends page 3 times now.

[Soapytits]

I liked the Silence of the Lambs dance.
But only for free on youtube.

[Tsizzle]

CLERKS TWO WAS AMAZING GO FUCK URSELF

[Kevin]

Wow, Tsizzle, you really showed me the error of my ways. Thanks for setting the record straight. I now see that it's the most amazing movie ever.

[whaaaat]

clerks 2 = hilarious

[Victoria]

You must be really stuck up if you didn't enjoy Clerks 2. It's in a different style that the original Clerks, but Clerks 2 is as good as it could get. It was the perfect sequel to a movie that is a classic. And you comment about Brian O'Halloran is way off, he was great in that movie, he played his part perfectly! I'm sorry but he is one of my favorite actors out there and I am outraged that you could think otherwise.

[Victoria]

You must be really stuck up if you didn't enjoy Clerks 2. It's in a different style that the original Clerks, but Clerks 2 is as good as it could get. It was the perfect sequel to a movie that is a classic. And you comment about Brian O'Halloran is way off, he was great in that movie, he played his part perfectly! I'm sorry but he is one of my favorite actors out there and I am outraged that you could think otherwise.

[santino]

YOU SUCK!!! Clerks 2 was probably one of the greatest movies of all time and you are just to much of a pussy to take a good joke

[john doe]

ur a porchmonkey...fag

[triple777]

Clerks 2 Rocks dude, ur just a Nazi Dushbag thats a mook and too wierd and sad.. lol You probably don't appreciate ass to mouth..

[DUKELAX]

YOU BETTER CROSS YOUR DICK AND PRAY TO GOD THAT WE DON'T FIND YOU CLERKS 2 WAS FULL OF WITTY BANTER AND BROUGHT UP GOOD ISSUES SUCH AS ASS 2 MOUTH, HOW DONTE ALWAYS HAS LIKE 2 HOT CHICKS WANTIN' HIM, STAR WARS OVER LORD OF THE RINGS, WEATHER THE TRANSFORMERS WERE A SLIGHT AGAINST GOD, AND THE BRINGIN' BACK OF THE WORD PORCHMONKEY. AND THE NEXT TIME YOU DISS KEVIN SMITH I WILL GO JAY AND SILENT BOB ON YOUR ASS!!!!

[Flash Gordon]

Clerks 2 and any other movie with those 2 in it are fuckin awesome movies plus there fuckin hilarious. Btw i watched Jay and silent Bob strikes back last night and i laughed my ass off soo who ever thinks Jay and silent Bob movies and clerks 2 are stupid so go fuck your mother!

[Clerk from Altavista]

You abviously are not a cashier so you wouldn't know how to judge the movie. I think they captured the idea of serving the public very well so fuck you you cock-smoking pickle fucker

[Ashley]

Fuck u!
Clerks 2 is fucking ACE!

[AlexWins]

Clerks 2 was funny, however dissapointing. I don't think it represented the same ideaology as the first Clerks did.

[Ashley]

in my opinion clerks 2 was wayyyyy fuckin better then clerks! ur just a fucking retard who doesnt kno wat a good movie is!!

[Katie]

Dude you have fucking issues. Clerks 2 was hilarious. I love watching it, everytime I crack up. Go take yer meds then watch it again.

[Kevin]

And based on these comments, I pretty much rest my case.

[FRANK]

How jaded can you be to not see the brilliance of Clerks 2

[Peter]

Porch Monkey 4 Life!

[Jaxon]

You suck man. What movie were you watching? I bought that movie for my whole family for Christmas, and on New years eve we all sat down and laughed are asses off. Just go fuck your self. This movie was awesome.

[Jaxon]

You suck man. What movie were you watching? I bought that movie for my whole family for Christmas, and on New years eve we all sat down and laughed are asses off. Just go fuck your self. This movie was awesome.

[Ozeroff]

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[MATT FRUEND]

HEY WHO EVER THE FUCK THIS IS IS A FUCKING RETARD... CLERKS 2 WAS THE FUNNIEST MOVIE IN THE FUCKING WORLD.. .YOU HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR YOU GAY DOUCHE... GO TO HELL