Avast, Mateys! There Be Pirates Ahead!

In an effort to further promote today's International Talk Like a Pirate Day, I'm providing a previous post that has been run through a pirate translator.  I hope you have enjoyed today's break, and normal blogging will resume once the rum has worn off.

Arrrr.

Arrr, so ye be wantin' t' go to sea an' ye don't be wantin' t' end up in Davy Jones' Locker. Then ye best be learnin' t' be talkin' like a buccaneer.

A gentleman o' fortune says 't this way:

Did YE vote today?

Boy howdy, I sure did. I got thar at 6:50am, 10 minutes before th' polls opened, an' thar be a huge line. I swelled wi' patriotic pride. 't be only slightly stifled by th' annoyin' man in line who kept whinin' that 't be takin' too long an' that his car be goin' t' be towed. He kept goin' on about this t' anyone who would listen. I think th' poll workers wants t' choke th' lad's wi' ballots.

"YE NEED T' CALL TH' CITY!", he would say.

"I think ye be fine sir, they know this be a pollin' place", they would reply.

"THIS BE AN OUTRAGE! 'ERE DOES ME TREASURE GO?", he would shout.

"Yer...treasure? Sir? Could ye jus' calm down an' wait quietly?", they would calmly answer.

"TOO HARD! I WANT YE FIRED!", he would foam.

I be surprised he didna jus' keel haul ou'. Ye would be havin' thought that waitin' 20 minutes t' vote be worse than gettin' a root canal. Give me th' votin' booth any tide.

An' speakin' o' th' votin' booth, they use this inka-vote system thin' 'ere this blunt wee pen marks a wee ink dot on yer votin' choice. `Tis almost as confusin' as th' whole chad/punch ballot thin'. How come we can put th' internet on telephones, gps systems in cars, an' be havin' vibratin', four-blade razors, but our votin' methods be barely better than "CHECK AYE OR NAY"? I dasn't get 't. An' dasn't get me started on th' electoral college or I feel that I will turn into that guy from th' polls this mornin'.

Ya scurvy cur who ortin' t' be keel hauled!